God works in mysterious ways

Life has been moving fast and slow all at the same time. How quickly a family make up can change.

A year ago discussion was begun with my extended family over plans for a family reunion. See, most of my family lives in Michigan and Wisconsin and a dear cousin in Florida. It always seems to happen that WE travel to the North since there are fewer of us than of them. Going on any trip is expensive so the thought was to try and create a vacation destination so everyone gets to go someplace new. Research was begun on many different spots in the US. My parents even took a mini-vacation to the Lake of the Ozarks to get some resort group pricing options. A place was picked, a contract was about to be signed, life started happening. From this point several family members had to back out due to unknown factors such as jobs, expenses, what have you. So, it was decided that the reunion in Lake of the Ozarks would not happen...contract cancelled. It was disappointing. I was so looking forward to seeing everyone.

Then this past spring, I really felt like I had to go to Michigan and see family. I made the decision to go - driving across the country. My mother decided that she'd go with me to help with the boys and get some family time in while she was there. While we were there the family received some devastating news. My Uncle Mike had bladder cancer. He was in pain while we were there from a recent surgery. But he came to all the family gathering events so that he could be with us. He laughed, made jokes, stood in family pictures. As we were leaving there was still many unknowns that further testing would reveal. But we felt that our goodbye was our last.

Also, while we were there we had noticed that Ralph (Grandpa) didn't seem to be himself. He seemed more fatigued, not as enthusiastic, less talkative and his color didn't look good. When we got back to Texas we expressed this concern to Grandma - and she had noticed these things too. After a doctor's appointment and some blood work it was determined that he had a form of leukemia..."treatable" according to the doctor.

Mike had learned that the cancer had not spread...good news. But his only treatment option was chemotherapy. Before that can begin an appointment with a cardiologist needs to be made. See, Mike was a lifelong smoker. He knew the risks this habit could bring to him...and was realizing it was catching up to him. He had a horrible night that night...and passed away from a heart attack the next morning. Gone, two weeks after being diagnosed. His prayers, most likely, being answered.

We flew to Michigan for his memorial service two weeks later. It was beautiful...so many people kept coming and coming. I was asked to play the keyboard and lead the group in two hymns. I didn't know where I would find the courage to do it. But I did. Mike helped me through, he knew I needed someone to sit on the bench next to me.

While we were there, we were able to visit with family again and see how Ralph was doing. We had learned through phone conversations and discussions that he wasn't doing well...confused, not eating, not drinking, trouble walking, beginning to take a crazy amount of medications including chemo pills and thalidamide...all to bring the white blood cell count down. He did recognize us...for brief moments but we knew he was not himself. Grandma was caring for him at home....it was a full time job and he could not be left alone. When we saw him and his condition...we knew he was in the final stages of life. Grandma had done all she could but she needed help and we were there to do it. In a matter of 2 days...we had got him transported to the doctor's office. The doctor helped us decide that hospice was the best choice for Ralph's end of life treatment. Grandma agreed....the family agreed. It was painful to experience such sorrow over Mike and within hours be experiencing such sadness for Ralph. He was moved to the hospital where we knew he would not leave. We had to leave for Texas the next day - with heavy hearts and concern for the others. Again, it was our final goodbye. Ralph died peacefully the next day - surrounded by family and loved ones.

It was painfully clear why the family reunion at Lake of the Ozarks was not meant to be. It was obviously clear why I felt the need to go to Michigan this summer and be with family...not knowing that 2 of those dear family members would soon be leaving us. It was sorrowfully clear why Mike's service was 2 weeks after his death so that we could be there to celebrate his life and care for Ralph's ending of life.

I could not be there for Ralph's service this weekend. I was sad to not be with family. I wanted to be there to hold my Grandma's hand as she said goodbye to her husband only 2 weeks after saying goodbye to her son. But see, other life events have been happening around me. And I needed Ralph here with me. I prefer to not go into too many details here on my blog...but transitioning from a contract to a salary employee has not been easy. A lot of unknowns, a lot of waiting, a lot of putting your faith in others to carry through. It has been an emotional roller coaster from disappointing to elated with joy. I knew Ralph had his hand on my shoulder as I was offered the job at more than the salary I was expecting. We can do things for ourselves and our guardian angels can help us along.

God does work in mysterious ways.